Spotlight 1

For my first spotlight article I picked option one regarding development with divorced families and children. When I began my research I didn’t believe that divorce impacted a child as it would be better for everyone in the household to be out of a toxic relationship which would just demonstrate an unhealthy relationship to the child. Based off the data findings, I found two sources that argued the harm of divorce and two that disagreed that the children suffer no serious consequences.

“Impact of family structure on the health of children: effects of divorce”

The first two arguments I looked at regarded the danger of divorce and the development of children. The belief of this stems from the idea of maintaining a healthy home setting with stability in comparison to those with divorced parents. The first article supporting this argued that children are better off with parents together and promotes grown in areas of development and learning. With knowing this the article described how as a society should encourage families to stay together. For this article it looked at a study of divorce rates and how they have steadily increased along with co-parenting outside of the same home. The article stated the risks associated with divorcing which had to do with developmental milestones and having an unstable support system. The article continued to discuss the ramifications which can continue into adulthood from the negative impacts and abruptness which was caused during childhood. The child essentially is suffering a loss through each milestone in their life along with the financial strain put on each of the households. This article explained the issues and gave statistics about the increase of divorce rates but it failed in looking at the statistical impact on children in divorced families.

“The temporal effects of divorces and separations on children’s academic achievement and problem behavior”

This study attempted to look at IV models but found limitations as it was difficult to view the pre and post impact of children in families before and after divorce. What I found interesting was the point it made on not being the divorce itself but the issues surrounding the divorce prior to it. The study focused of the disruption of divorce and having a norm of living with both parents to later separating and living with them each inconsistently. The disruption is later to see negative impact of social, physical, academic, behavioral, and mental health issues. This study measured out the impacts of the children which I found more beneficial in understand the scope of the issue in comparison to the last article.

These two articles are regarding that children can come through a divorce without serious consequences opposed to the first two stating the issues around divorce and development.

“Children’s reactions to parental separation and divorce”

The article demonstrates the negative component and stress children face before the divorce occurs. In the research it describes the conflicts between parents, what the child needs, what the parents need, and separation. The research found in this article capitalizes on the issues surrounding divorce prior to it and during the beginning of being newly divorced. This period both the parents and the child are adjusting to this situation until the new living and family dynamic is settled and structured. There are several tools parents are able to use in order to make the transition easier to continue positive development for the child. The majority of divorced children suffer little to no impacts of their parents separating during their developmental stages.

“Enhancing positive outcome for children of divorce”

From this article on psychology today I found that the majority of issues which have been discussed regarding divorce are short-term. Although this is true, in some cases it can have negative long-term impacts. The article described an intervention done called “The New Beginnings Program” and was studied fifteen years after the intervention of parenting skills for divorced families and it had improved stress, anxiety, and childhood development. It was found that 240 families went through this and it helped to improve coping for families who experienced divorce. Providing structure and a supportive parent helps continue development and prevent any long-term impacts.

I think a large part of having to do with the increase of divorce rates is the increase of women’s rights. Women and men aren’t shammed for leaving abusive relationships. It has become less of a public embarrassment and ends a bad relationship by not only showing children what a healthy relationship can be but also recognizing the marriage as failing and being an adult enough to put the child first and co-parent effectively. A large factor of the overall problem is seen before the divorce actually occurs. Suppose the goal was to minimize divorce rates, if you do that you still create the stress which is causing the development problems. Divorcing in an unhealthy relationship benefits the child in development more than the pre-disruption divorce brings for a short time.

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4286357/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2817796/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-blame-game/201803/enhancing-positive-outcomes-children-divorce

 

Chapter 4 Impression Post

I picked option one for Chapter 4 impression prompt regarding development based off of different parenting styles.

With dealing with parents consistently you go through different stages of irritation when dealing with those parents. I have worked with children and parents for over 8 years now. Whether it is through camp, Samara, or babysitting, I am extremely involved and aware of different parenting skills. When looking at each of the different parenting skills in the impression post I find them useful in different stages of life.

Helicopter parents:

In all honesty, helicopter parents are the worst. We talked about “type A” or anal people in Chapter 1 and this is a whole new ball park, anal on steroids: Parent addition. Helicopter parents are the ones who worry about each and every detail with the child and do so since their child is the number one priority to them and needs it to become everyone’s number one priority. Forget world hunger, make this child happy.

It is understandable to be a helicopter parent in the very early beginning stage of life (new born/ infant) as most parents of very young children worry for their safety, it is understandable to feel over protected of your child when they have no clue how to fully express themselves so as the parent you become their voice. This is great, perfect but like any good helicopter parent they don’t go away, e.v.e.r. The prolonging of being a helicopter parents shifts the parents own anxiety onto their growing child. A five year old may have anxiety, but with a helicopter parent around worrying if her child will be line leader more than once today, is another categories of species which the National Wildlife Federation should probably be aware of. As soon as the child is roughly 1 years old, the overbearing parental helicopter stages needs to take a back seat in order to promote the best growth for the child. In my opinion and from experiences I believe that the continuation of being a helicopter parent leads to dependent children and adults who have no motivation, drive, or ability to accomplish tasks fully on their own.

Tiger mom:

            I understand this stage, I feel for it but with everything balance is always going to be key. I grew up with pretty strict parents who put a large emphasis on respect which children need to learn. The rules regarding this are understandable through elementary school (roughly ages 5-11) in order to build discipline, respect, and accountability. These rules and discipline help the child have boundaries to help them be able to deal with situations in the future (getting a job, a stronger work ethic, and the importance of respect).

Balance is key with this, if you restrict something excessively the child will either rebel or as they grow older completely go against what they grew up with. This stage should be balance with Jellyfish dad parenting but less of a focus through preteen and teenage years.

Jellyfish dad:

“I’m not like any mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Being a relaxed parent with practically no rules is great for when they start making decisions for themselves with the guidance of their parents. This stage is not something to start at 5 years old when the only thing the child wants to each for dinner is candy. This may be fun, but not a great dietary plan. No point should a child be making decisions and controlling the outcome of a situations when it comes to parenting technique. As the child grows up the relationship is not a friendship nor a dictatorship but a mixture of both. Too much jellyfish parenting could also be seen as neglect with absent instructions and little discipline. If the child is unaware about reward and punishment they will severely struggle as they get older and face challenges which don’t go their way. Jellyfish parenting should start about high school and used beforehand but less focused on.

Conclusion

The best way to parent is through a combination of all three parenting techniques based off of different ages. The main ones being used are going to be Tiger mom and Jellyfish dad. As the child becomes a preteen you should be able to have a conversation and relaxed rules based off of the person the child is from their childhood and how they were raised (given a standard supportive upbringing without a trauma). As the child gets older, with more relaxed rules allows for less rule breaking and more open and effective communication. In my opinion this is the best way to create a good person and for them to be the happy and healthy.